A dad was left fuming after he discovered that his wife got their daughter’s ears pierced, despite being told no.
The man explained that he and his wife have been having “the piercing debate” since his two-month-old daughter Alicia was born.
“She comes from a culture where it’s the normal thing but I’m just not comfortable with a painful process like that and would prefer to wait until she’s older so she can choose whether to go through that for herself,” the man said on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum.
But when his wife returned home from a day out with her family, and Alicia had a pair of studs in her ears, he was furious.
“When I got home the first thing I noticed was that Alicia had a pair of gold studs,” he said.
“I demanded to know what had happened and she said they decided to ‘make a day of it’ and just get them done.”
In retaliation, he took out the earrings and binned them.
“I felt pure rage and immediately removed the earrings and threw them away,” he said, which “enraged” his wife as removing them was “totally disrespectful.”
He continued: “She slept in the spare room last night and isn’t speaking to me at all.
“As far as I’m concerned I did the right thing. She got them pierced without asking me (or more importantly, ASKING ALICIA), so I took them out because our baby doesn’t need bits of metal sticking out of her ears.”
He concluded his post by asking users whether he was in the wrong for how he reacted.
In the comments, many people raised their concerns about consent, and how disrespectful his wife was to go behind his back.
One person said: “As someone who had their ears pierced as a baby, I also wished my parents waited. My piercings are uneven and have affected my other piercings.”
Another agreed: “Disrespected their daughter too. I got mine done at a young age and it was constant cleaning and my mom even did a DIY kitchen re-pierce at age 5. They are the holes that will always be open.”
A third commented: “In my culture, it’s too common to pierce ears, I think they don’t even ask at the hospital when your kid is born.
“My ears were pierced and I don’t have any personal objections to it, I would have wanted it anyway and they healed fine, but as soon as I was old enough to know about consent, I thought it is bad. Piercing guns are bad. Piercing a baby’s ears is awful. There’s absolutely no need. They can choose and get it done with a proper method later in life.
“It is revolting to me that baby girls ‘need’ to get their ears pierced.”
Someone else added: “Your wife knew your feelings on this and did it behind your back as a ‘better to ask for forgiveness than permission’ move.”